argh

In the course of trying to figure out how to make an annotated bibliography I found (don't ask me how) an organization called Soldiers Angels. It's an organization that lets people stateside 'adopt' either a soldier on the ground in areas of combat or a wounded soldier in a hospital. I thought cool, I'll join up with this as soon as I get done with school and have time and money to do something. Because while I think this whole war business is just...inexpressibly wrong and strange and messed up, it has little to do with the basic humanity of the people that have bombs exploding around them all the time. My grandfather, uncle and cousins served, and while I have issues with militarism and recruiters preying on inner-city youth and the poor in general, I have no beef with the people actually serving. I have no idea what stories are behind the individuals that sign up to serve, but people have their own reasons for doing things.

So here's the thing. Should I even be doing this? Probably in many military eyes I am unpatriotic, I do not support the troops, I'm a bad American, etc. It's not like I would ever say in letter or care package, hey, what you're doing is wrong, because how can I say that? I'm not going to tell them their choice is wrong. Maybe our government is wrong, but I can't really say that either. What would I have to say to anyone who is serving in Iraq? I feel that a "Thanks for what you're doing" would ring hollow to me. The second thing is, all the ads and links on the site are to people like Michelle Malkin, who is somehow supporting the troops by spewing lies and hate about people who believe the things I believe.

This all troubles me the way depictions of Vietnam-era demonstrations where protestors are protesting soliders, rather than the government, do. What do the soliders have to do with the machinations of a power-mad administration that is so, so far removed from actual fighting and sacrifice that it might as well be on Neptune? Why do I feel like I have to atone for something or redeem myself when I see stuff like this? Do I want to do this because I want to prove that not all lefties are bad? Prove to whom? I'd like to think I'd do it because I'm concerned about people feeling left out and alienated from the rest of humanity because all they see is carnage, day in and day out. But maybe it's the former. And damn all those people who make it into an all or nothing proposition--that you either support the government (and soldiers) or you don't.

Ugh. Cue Tom Waits' "Day After Tomorrow."